This past Christmas, I tried to think of something special I could give to my parents. I’m not very crafty, I don’t sew…yet and I don’t consider myself a foodie per se. I don’t get excited over shopping at Whole Foods or any grocery store for that matter. I don’t think that a great night out is eating at a nice restaurant and nothing else. I think it’s a waste of money unless there is music being played somewhere nearby. I don’t bake though I love the smell of baking bread, cookies being made and yummy cakes. My sister-in-law creates fabulous cakes that are tasty and beautiful to look at and my mom bakes the best cookies. I think they’re better than Mrs. Field’s but that’s just my humble opinion.
I believe my gift is music, not making my own music though I would love to be able to play an instrument if I had the patience to actually learn. No, my gift is in finding the perfect songs to fit my mood and the mood of others, hopefully making them feel something in their hearts and souls from the gift of music I give to them. I feel music. It makes me cry when I’m happy and when I’m sad, reminisce about days gone by, feel exhilarated and giddy and helps me get over something when I’m angry, all the while giving me goosebumps when the music is truly beautiful. My husband and kids know exactly what kind of mood I’m in by the music I have playing and know whether it’s time to leave mom alone or act goofy and be silly, dancing around the house as if no one is watching.
I love creating playlists and with the knowledge I’ve gained from the people I love about who they are as individuals, I’m able to come up with the perfect playlist for them from me. Whether it’s music for a wedding or a mix cd for a loved one or friend, that person or couple knows it’s personalized from me to them. It makes me happy when others listen to the cd I’ve given them and love all the songs I’ve added, evoking beautiful memories from their own life experiences, while allowing them to chance to see who they are to me and what they represent in my life.
It was with this knowledge that I decided to give both my parents separate mix cd’s as a more personalized Christmas gift. I added songs that were reminiscent of my childhood and of what I knew to be some of my parents’ favorite bands and singers. Though they both loved my gift, I think my dad understood the reasoning behind it more than my mom. My dad and I both tend to be very introverted and share a love of music that my mom just doesn’t share with me. Neither my dad nor I talk very much but get us in a room where we can talk about music and we are good for an hour or so.
My mom would rather shop with me as a way to re-connect and that’s wonderful. Some of the best memories I have with my mom of when I was younger and now that I’m older, have revolved around an afternoon or evening of shopping. However, I was hoping that by giving them both music that meant something to me and told the story I was trying to share with them, they would have a better understanding of who I am as a person. My dad totally got it and in turn got me…my mom did not. She loved the songs I gave her but asked me why music was so important to me. I probably should have tried explaining it to her a little better but in the end, didn’t really know how to.
I guess for me, music is the way I know best to let my feelings show. Words can sometimes be hard for me, especially in a conversation with others. Sometimes I get so nervous around people that my mind goes blank and I don’t know what to say. It’s a problem I’ve dealt with my entire life. If you are a person who loves music as much as I do, then you know how I feel. We all have our ways of dealing with daily life. Mine just happens to be through music. What about you? How do you deal?